Pink Hair: Day 1

I dyed my hair pink-ish. I'm so excited.

But....

A young man I am quite close friends with, asked me, why I can't just keep my hair black like a normal pretty little girl. He was implying that normally I was pretty...

That's why I like it pink. I'm not pretty, so the only alternative is fun and weird. I mean I like pink, so that's why I chose it, but if I can't be pretty I might as well have fun.

But...

I also wanted to see if it would change the way people saw me. It has, but there are people above it. A girl I love dearly as a close friend didn't squeal and freak out when she saw me per usual. I will give her the benefit of the doubt and say we were at church. But, I don't care. I like the hair.

Pueri: Day 3

He's so freaking cute. You know who I'm talking about every bi or straight girl and bi or gay boy knows who I'm talking about.

I'm talking about the boy that you always think about and you just can't get off your mind. The one who you would love to just spend an enormous amount of time with. Yeah, I'm talking about him.

But I also know it's unrequited. I know and it makes me get this feeling. Once again EVERYONE knows this feeling. It starts in my toes, and I crinkly my toes. Wherever goes, I know that you won't ever return this feeling. And it sucks.

It sucks the one guy I'm into, thinks I'm a weirdo and just a friend. By the way, I'm having a hang out with him Saturday. Why do I subject to letting myself be sucked into his charisma that hurts me. I don't know.

~Hopelessly in like

My Journey to SWAG: Day 1

Swag. I've never needed to know what it is, but I'm in color guard. For those of you who don't know what color guard is(shame), it is the usage of props such as flags, wooden rifles, and such to represent music visually. In our show for guard we have to have swagger, swag, be swaggy, and such because it's the whole feel of the show. When I heard this, I freaked out. 

I mean, what is swag? I really have little to none idea at the moment, but I am slowly gathering information. 

First thing I did to discover what "swag" is... I Urban dictionaried it, and boy, was that not useful at all. ]

Definition 1- How one presents him or her self to the world. Swagger is shown from how the person handles a situation. It can also be shown in the person's walk.

What? How one "presents" him or her self? I present myself in a very awkward Asiany way... Is that "swag"? I don't think so... So onto the next definition. 

Definition 2- A person's style- they way they walk, talk, dress.

I think that's the same thing.... -_____- ARE KNEE HIGH SOCKS "SWAGGY"? CAUSE THAT IS HOW I DRESS!

Honestly, I don't think this Urban Dictionary thing is going anywhere, so I stopped. 

It was after that my friend told me a little about "swagger." This was where my journey of discovery really started. He stated to think, "Noah Puckerman" from Glee. To truly understand Puck's "swagger," I had to research this. This led me to the one place I could almost, not really depend on. glee.wikia.com

Bits from the personality section: "Noah "Puck" Puckerman is at first glance the stereotypical bullying jock. Arrogant, rude, and judgmental, Puck is under the unwavering belief that because he is a good at sports he is better than everyone else. He is also a bit "gangster", as he abuses many "dweebs" and has even been sent to juvie due to his delinquent behavior..." Wait, I have to be a condescending bully that is rude? Rude? Judgmental? No, no, that must be wrong. Onto some more. "...Although crude, Puck is nonetheless handsome, and knows it. As such, he feels any and all women are fair game for his sexual prowess...." So I have to be aware that I look good and show it to the world? Okay, think that's getter warmer, but I'm not there, just yet.

Soon, after this my cousin messaged me on Facebook. 

"Sexy   

 With

 A bit of

 Gangster"

Sexy with a bit of gangster. I think I've got this. So, sexy, good looking and confident, gangster(just a bit), a badass that gives and gets respect(according to Urban Dictionary). It seemed that "swagger" was starting to get a little closer to my grasp.

Then today in guard I learned an act of "swagger." Whipping a cardigan over your shoulder. We were model walking and had to put swag into it. So my friend told me to whip my cardigan over my shoulder and in front of me like a b-a. I'm not sure, but I think I'm getting this "swagger" thing down... Starting to anyways.

What I've Learnt of "Swag" So Far:

• According to Urbandictionary- It is how you carry yourself, dress, and deal with things.
• According to Noah Puckerman- Not just that, but you must do in it way that you are aware of yourself looking good and rubbing it in the world's face. 
• According to Sexy With A bit of Gangster -Being good looking and confident while being a badass about respect.
• According to Jenny- Whipping a cardigan over your shoulder.

~An almost "swaggalicious" Asian

 

Life of a Teenage Girl: Day 4

Okay, take your hands
feel you face
I mean really feel the bone structure
Under your eyes
Around your teeth
Everywhere
Now imagine that bone you were feeling without your skin covering it
You've got a pretty good mental image right?
That's you underneath all that fleshy stuff
Creepy right?

I was just thinking.
So many things define us.
Our hair, eye color, skin color, clothing, lips, eyebrows, and such, but
underneath all?
We're that creepy bone thing you just imagined.

So next time you bug a person for their looks,
or their personality differences...
quirks...
interests....
whatever,
Feel their bone structure, then yours(okay that sounds creepy)
It's eerily the same, isn't it?

Food for thought. :)

~Natalie

Life of a Teenage Girl: Day 3

"You look pretty nerdy."

I guess you realize this
But
I don't care

I am a nerd
It's who I am!
I don't need your approval

Deal with it

I'm tired of people being so insignificant. I don't want to deal with the average human anymore. Why do I need to be normal? What does it matter if I don't want to talk to you about that thing that she said to him when they were like um totally chilling and this is like uh the most irrelevant conversation ever. Yeah. I know.

So whatever. I don't need them and I don't want them to approve.

~Nat-Nat

Natalie: Day 1

This is an observation of myself. From my previous post, it's obvious.
I have a superiority complex. Deal with it. I mean I know I have this. Why does it matter if I think I'm better than a lot of the human race.
I am!
But I don't run and shout it all over the place.
You can see it through my actions....
That is if I deem you worth to see it.
See, I don't want the whole world to see the way I think...
I can't let them understand me. I need to keep only the people worthy of it to be able to understand me.
Which I ask you.
Do you really understand me.
Don't be so sure about your answer.

~Natty-Nat

Idiots: Day 1

It says day 1
But
Honestly...
It's been my whole life.

You and your idiocy
Smart?
Ha!
Not even close

You think you are
Ha
You think you're smarter than me
Don't you
But you're not
You'll never be.

The idiot of the day is named idiot 1. Idiot one thinks they are so much better than the rest of us, and they brag "unintentionally."  Like, oh I did so bad, I got a 99% out of 100. Shut up, seriously. And oh, I'm so dumb. I'm taking all advance courses. And the I'm just gonna stand here and complain about this.

SHUT UP!

And when you try to be actually deep, smart, whatever? IT DOESN'T WORK.

Face it.

I will never be able to talk multi-dimensional theories with you and know you're actually getting it. I will never be able to discuss human nature with you and have you actually understand anything.

So enough.
I'm not dealing with this anymore. Just stop it. I don't want to talk about this with you. I'm right you're wrong.

~Natalie